Gonna Fight Until One of Us Goes Down

I love America because she doesn't leave much out. She encompasses deserts, mountains, oceans, polar wastelands, huge forests, tropical jungles, rolling fields and savannah. Big city, small town.

There is nothing original about America, except everything that enters and leaves her borders. I love America because she takes people on their terms and gives them an opportunity to win at their own pace. I love America because she allows people to decide what winning means but requires them to be accountable for their actions. I love America because she doesn't take shit from anyone.

Jazz, Old-timey, Negro-spirituals, Blues, Rock n' Roll, Appalachian Blue-Grass, Zydeco, Country, Western Cowboy. America grows its myriad cultures in rich soil. Religion. Loving God. Letting John worship Him in his way and Jane worship Him in hers. Allowing people to call Him Allah, Christ and Yahweh.

I love America because she wrestles with her demons. She airs her laundry and takes the barbs of hypocrites. She takes the skeletons out of her closet and shakes the dust off them and does her best to give them a decent burial. She takes a magnifying glass to her pimples and tries to scrub them off. They don't always come off. Some sores continue to fester. But she doesn't let it all go swept under the rug.

I love America for mainstreet, for the dusty sidewalks in mid-summer, for the mom-and-pop diners that bloom like flowers among the weeds of department store chains. I love America for her personality. I love America for her promise of the never-ending journey on a western freeway drenched in the blood-red colors of a setting sun.

I love America because I can love my one sister but have nothing to do with my other sister. I can live my life in private and be left alone. I can be a recluse in the mountains or a recluse in the big city. I can have as much of a social and political life as I want, or none at all. I love America because we don't all have to get along but we do have to put up with each other. We can argue and discuss and protest against each other, but when the day is over, we know the freedom of our thoughts and are beliefs are protected. I love America because we have a forum where we can overcome most of our differences.

I love America because love and compassion is the general rule and violence and anger is the exception to the rule. I love America because we still believe that a mom and a dad of two different genders raising kids in a stable home is the best way to live. I love America because we still believe that we need to help others for no other reason than that's the type of people we are. I love America because we believe work is a virtue in and of itself and that self-sacrifice is a virtue.

I weep over America's excess. I weep over her greed, her fading morals. I weep over her obsession with whores and false anti-heroes. I weep over her selfishness and self-absorption. I weep over her inability to see much beyond her own borders. I fear for her future and unwillingness to stay cloaked in the mantle of virtue.

At the same time, my heart swells at our leadership in the world. I look with gratitude at the countless hours Americans spend and the billions of dollars spent in helping others. My heart swells at the fact that Americans still give more of their income to charity than any other people and that even in the process of giving, we look with a critical eye at the money we give to make sure its going to those who most need it. My eyes fill with tears when I think of the American men and women in hundreds of countries around the world who are defending freedom and the other virtues we Americans consider our birthright.

This the America I fight for. This is the America I was given by my forefathers. I've seen it as much from without as within and I accept her and love her with all her beauty and deformities. This is the America I will fight for, against all enemies foreign and domestic. I will fight to keep her standing for the right principles. I will fight to keep her free, to keep her rid of hypocrisy. I will fight to keep her borders open and the hearts of her people open. I have all my life to fight for her, and thank God I have the American spirit of strength to support me.

"Oh me oh my oh
Look at Ms. Ohio
Running around with the rag-top down.
She says I want to do right but not right now."
-- Gillian Welch "Look at Ms. Ohio"

We're Winning in Iraq

And do you know how I know we are winning in Iraq? Because Iraqis feel safe enough to bitch about the job we're doing.
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/12/23/international/middleeast/23INN.html?pagewanted=2&hp

Let Us Never Speak of This Again

The human body can take only so much punishment. Do you know how far yours will take you until it shuts down?

A friend of mine and I were close to finding out yesterday. Having stayed up the night before all night to watch a movie (see previous A Forum for the Freak in All of Us), my friend and co-worker (I will call him Logan) were pretty beat yesterday. However, having known this was coming, we prepared ourselves for the upcoming workday with Red Bulls and other caffeinated drinks we hoped would keep us at least moderately coherent through the hours.

What we weren't expecting were the myriad seemingly planned and coordinated attacks to breaks our souls, bodies and spirits as we trudged towards the end of the day.

The first for me was the Lunch that would never end. Driving downtown to eat with a man I had met once who wanted to help me with my education, I followed piss-poor instructions, drove around in the driving rain for a good hour and finally found the restaurant (where the group had started eating and rightly so). A terrible stomach ache persisted throughout the lunch, dividing my attention and probably making me look like a twisted imp while I smiled and laughed at his jokes and personal history.

The lunch went on for hours, and finally, when I felt my guts would burst, his wife said, "Oh, but you must be needing to get back to work." I smiled (rather painfully, it must have seemed, and so it was) and said yes, so sorry, but I must get back to work. I excused myself, said goodbye to the other guest (an up-and-coming law student who seemed about as smart as a bag of hammers, thank you George Clooney) and his wife and drove back to work.

The fates must have had it in for me. As soon as I got back to work, Logan and I were whisked away to one of the many job sites our company had where we were building a product. Being the paperwork men, Logan and I rarely visited these sites but were always interested. Well, this time, the powers that be decided that they wanted us to "Feel the Pain" (no joke, that is a direct multiply repeated quote straight from a superior's mouth) and wanted us to stay "For the Long Haul." For the next two hours, we stood around, looked stupid and did nothing, having been given no directives but told to stay. For the next hour after that, we hauled trash. For the next two hours after that, Logan went shopping while I got on my hands and knees and vacuumed areas that were quickly dirtied after I moved. Then for the next two hours, we did odd jobs and ends that could have easily been done by someone else there who was wandering around and doing what we were doing when we originally got there.

We were tired. We were hungry. We spent half an hour looking for caffeinated beverages only to find all the snack bars were closed and the vending machines broken in the whole building (We finally walked to another building and bought some Mt. Dews). I kept laughing deep down inside myself at how cruelly ironic this was that the one day I decided to stay up all night, we would be called on-site and with no prior warning required to work overtime at jobs that weren't ours doing crap someone else could do better.

Well, around 11 p.m. we were finally let go and Logan and I headed home. By the time I got home, I was so tired I could barely make it up the stairs to my house. Getting up this at 6:30 a.m., I thought the world had increased it's cruelty by making the morning come too soon. There, it's done. But I want to say that neither Logan nor myself ever gave up nor did we complain (directly to the boss). I am rather proud of myself for not quitting my job and throttling my boss, because by 8 p.m. last night, I arrived at the conclusion that I was fully capable of cold-blooded murder.

I hope you have enjoyed this recounting of the longest day of my life in recent history. Now let us never speak of it again.

A Forum for the Freak in All of Us

I went with several friends to see "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" last night (yesterday morning) at 12:01 a.m. Not content to wait till this weekend like a normal person or even watch it this evening, we had to be the first in this time zone to see it.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you how "big a fan" I am of Lord of the Rings. I didn't dress up like Gandalf for any of the premiers, I don't pray to Manwe and Varda, and I don't speak elvish. But I would be lying if I said these films weren't the answer to years of waiting and silent hoping that someone in the industry would finally get it together and do my favorite fiction book justice.

Nuff said on that. I'm very curious to hear your feelings on the film. What did you think? Was the level of violence appropriate? How was the dialogue? How was the acting? Was it too long? Too short? Needed more/less character development? How does it compare to the other two films? Was it true enough to the books? What is your level of interest in the films? Book fan? Please feel free to answer any of these questions and comment on anything else in connection. I am very interested to hear your views.

The Great American Empire

Wish I had more time to write....

If children are reading history books 200 years from now, they will be reading about the great American empire. Wonder if they will be a part of it?

Best thing Osama Bin Laden ever did for Pan-Americanism was to attack American Soil and declare himself our enemy. Second best thing he did was not to get caught. Gave us a carte blanche to run like Mongols all over the Middle East. Gave us an elusive and ever shifting enemy that will guarantee us public support for an ever-growing military industrial complex and a Republican presidency till at least the end of the decade. Way to go. Allah Akbar.

The truth is George Bush lied to the American people about why we went into Iraq. Months before the war, he and his advisors decided that the next step for global dominance was to get a firmer foothold in the Middle East. Afghanistan was too far east. We needed a country in the Middle of the Oil Fields to control. From the moment they agreed on Iraq to the first shots being fired, it was all a PR campaign. Weapons of Mass Destruction became the mantra because it was what most of America would rally behind. I should know, I defended the Bush position till I was blue in the face in conversations with my more dovish friends. But the truth is, it had nothing to do with weapons of mass destruction. It had to do with extending American influence in the region and making sure we had control of the oil, not France or Russia. For crying out loud, read "The National Security Strategy for the United States" if you don't believe me. We will brook no challengers, no pretenders to our world throne. And we will beat down any who try.

Are the Iraqis better off now that American troops patrol their neighborhoods? Was Saddam Hussein an evil dictator who ruled his country with an Iron Fist and deserves a special spider hole in the deepest regions of hell? Are our troops for the most part noble men and women who defend the cause of freedom and stand for truth and democracy? Now that we are in Iraq, should we stay and build up a nation with a representative government no matter how long it takes or how much it costs? The answer to all these questions is a resounding YES.

But have we sold our moral high ground now for political expediency? Have we lost the initiative by taking it outright? I could care less what the rest of the world thinks of us and whether they support us and our aims. To hell with those morally bankrupt nations of Europe and Asia (not all countries on these continents are like this, see next paragraph) who have nothing but a cesspool and a morass to place their soapbox on. There is no World Body that is working together and to whom we should be responsible like so many Democratic Presidential Candidates claim in their platforms. The UN is a joke, and they are about as united and polylateral as a beehive. Like it or not, we are the queen bee in this world, and when we are not there, the rest of the nations simply go around stinging each other till they are dead.

That is not to say America is the only country who loves and defends peace. That is not to say we have an unassailable culture of peace and light. There are wonderful people throughout the world. There are peaceloving nations that have done enormous good (including in Europe and Asia) and continue to do so in their sphere's of influence. But America has by far the greatest chance and therefore the greatest responsibility to do the greatest amount of good in this world, a responsibility which we shirk if we seek pure aggrandizement.

What is important is that we do what is right according to the universal ideals we espoused at our founding and continue to espouse, if only in writing. Building an empire at the expense of other nations' political autonomy is wrong. It sets the precedent that we can do what we want how we want and need a paper-thin excuse to do so. And it gives a President who has already shown he is willing to lie to the American people a green light to increase his power till he sits on a heap of skulls higher than any Atilla the Hun ever piled.

Even now throughout the United States, the FBI, NSA, CIA and local law enforcement are pooling their resources like never before (in ways that have never been LEGAL before) to spy on and gather information on Americans on American Soil. The "Patriot Act" paved the way for this. Fear cleared the path. And now that we have chased the devil to the ends of the earth and knocked down every law that has stood in our path, will we have the strength to stand in the winds that blow? (quote paraphrased from A Man For All Seasons)

I love America. I love what she stands for. I will fight for her to the very last drop of my blood. But I don't know if I am ready to watch as my country takes on the mantle of ultimate world dominance while imperfect men and women are still at the helm. God help us.

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What Next, Kill God?

A French Panel says no more head scarves in school. No large crosses, not yarmulkes, skullcaps, nothing overtly proseltyizing other people. Nothing that will scream "I AM MUSLIM!" or "I AM CHRISTIAN!" or "I AM A JEHOVAH's WITNESS!" At the same time, they suggest more flexibility in allowing people days off for their religious holidays and suggest that schools start teaching Arabic and Arab history. Once again, I am baffled and amazed by the ability of the French to take a delicate and difficult situation and make it even worse.

I spent two years as a missionary for my church in France. Every day, I walked the streets of towns like Angouleme, Bordeaux and Mont de Marsan, talking to people about religion. I knocked on their doors, talked to them in the streets, entered their mosques and cathedrals and shared what I believed at the time to be the God's Honest Truth. I didn't try and shove it down their throats. I tried in all honesty and sincerety to truly respect their beliefs and share mine in an open and generous way in a hope to make their lives better. Literally THOUSANDS of conversations and countless hours later, I think I have a pretty decent grasp as to what an average cross-section of French people think about religion.

The truth is most French people don't give a damn about religion. It doesn't enter into their thinking. They view it with distrust and arrogant amusement. "Why should I look outside myself for answers? Who are these people that are so weak they must look to a higher power to find meaning for their lives? I have everything I need right here. I have my mind, my reason, my health and I am in a developed nation. I have a job, a home, maybe a family. I need no religion." The comfort and ease of their secular nation has lulled them into a false sense of security and acted as its own opiate for the masses.

It was not always thus. Throughout the Middle Ages and on through the Enlightenment, religion played an integral role in the French Psyche. Even before their was France, there was Catholic France, the heart of Christendom. "Paris vaut bien une messe," Henry IV said as he took the crown and converted from Protestentism to Catholicism. The Edict of Nantes, Louis XIV's wars with Holland and Spain, the massacre of the Cathares, the revoking of the Edict of Nantes (I've been to Nantes several times by the way, beautiful city), religion was the prime moving force (if not the excuse for the prime moving force) for almost all political and social action in France.

That all changed with the Revolution, the Reign of Terror, Robespierre, Danton and all those "enlightened" men who understood that even if God was real, he had no place in the lives of his children. We have reason, they said, and religion has killed too many in the past to be worth anything. So let's kill all who believe in religion, they continued, bring down deface and rape the Catholic Church and create a new nation devoid of any religious taint.

It didn't work. For the next 115 years, the French wrestled with their supposed secular Utopia and the inherent need for people to worship their creator. You can take the Catholic Church out of France, but you can't take the Catholics out of France.

Until the 20th Century, when the last vestiges of true religion were swept out of the French maintstreem and great catastrophes like WWI disabused most men and women of the idea of a merciful God. And as the century moved on, the peace and comfort of an indulgent government and a flat refusal to accept God on his terms has led a once-great nation to forsake the true enlightenment of religious inspiration and embrace a sterile secularism that I forsee destroying all of Western Europe.

But wait. Now France is face to face with another culture that doesn't see the world quite as they do. With 7 percent of their country now Muslims (the largest population in Western Europe it is interesting to note), the French are forced to look religion straight in the face whether they like it or not. "You may not believe in God, but we certainly do, and he is going to be a part of our lives and yours whether you're ready for him or not," the newcomers say. And under the pockmarked and shredded banner of tolerance, France wrestles with the clash of civilizations that is only a microcosm of what is gripping the rest of the world.

And this panel's recommendation is the best all of France's great leaders can come up with?

I am impressed with the suggestions for different holidays, for teaching Arabic in Schools and for a further understanding between the cultures. Separate meals for Jews and Muslims who wish to observe their religions. Great. But banning religious attire?

If this took place in the United States, I think we would see a backlash of epic proportions. Freedom of Religion does not mean destroying religion. It does not mean you have to be free from religion unless that's what you choose.

But where does my right to worship or not to worship end and Muhammed's start or Binyamin's start or Joe or Frank or Lisa?

Article : "It said that organized groups were testing the secular state by demands on public services in the name of religion and pressuring Muslims to identify first with their faith and then with their French citizenship."

That is a problem. That is a problem France is struggling with, England is struggling with, America is struggling with. All of the World is struggling with. All religions demand something of both individuals and society, and that will spill over to your neighbor no matter how discreet and tactful you are. And lets face it, there are few world religions that don't look to convert others, sometimes by the sword.

Are we incompatible? Are we essentially and eventually going to kill each other? THERE IS NO GETTING AROUND the fact we look at each other as the damned. Is Godless secularism the only answer to peace?

The only answer I have is to the last question: NO. There is a way through this and it keeps God in the equation. The only answer I do have is that God is real. How you worship Him is your deal. You try and kill him, you lose what makes you human. As for moving beyond that, I'm open to suggestions. And France, you might want to try again.

What Next, Kill God?

Paris seems like a dream. Part I

I think back on my summer and I realize the further I am removed from it physically by time, the more romanticised it will become. The more it will take on an amber aura of Ubi Sunt, regardless of the snows of yesteryear falling in the middle of the hottest summer the city saw for 50 years. It's one of the memories that will increase in richness and depth as time goes by rather than withering and yellowing around the edges. I look forward to drawing from that well as the future years go by, drinking from an experience that fills me with wonder and excitement.

The memories will undoubtedly become more romanticized, but the truth is they are pretty romantic to begin with. I arrived in Paris without a job, without knowing anyone that I had ever met face to face, without any real prospects of work, with only a memory of a city I had visited years ago and the numbers of a few contacts scattered throughout the city of 10 million people. I moved into an apartment in a suburb, a charming town 20 minutes by metro from St. Michel, a town of Arabs and Maghrebs and the occasional Frenchperson, a town of parks, pedestrian roads, other roads that we so small that cars and pedestrians weaved in and out of each other like a living fabric. The smell of dog urine, kebabs, dirty people, car exhaust, fresh cooked bread, pastries, perfumes and colognes. I knew I was home.

I arrived in a city where I knew no one. I moved into this apartment where over 40 other people already lived, many together as young couples, others there by themselves. Most were under 25, most were there studying. Most smiled or said hello the first time they saw me and some took the time to get to know me. By the second night was I was playing chess, hanging out in the courtyard, surrounded by dozens of them, talking, telling stories, listening to a little CD player blaring out Oasis or Credence Clearwater Revival. I stayed up that second night, all night until the birds were literally singing outside the windows and I passed out on the couch in the common room to "Fellowship of the Ring."

La Residence. These were my kind of people. Suddenly, I was surrounded by people I had learned to love throughout my life everywhere I had lived. International people. People who liked you for you, who wanted to hear about your life and would tell you some about theirs. People who travelled from London to Manchester to Amsterdam to Rome for every possible reason and by every possible transport. People who sucked the marrow out of life and didn't even know they were doing it. If you used something that poetic (or cheesy) they would laugh at you for taking yourself and life too seriously, and then pass you a drink to make you relax. I found myself in a world apart from all others. And I was at home.

(more to come)